Military Spouse. Disabled??

Start before you're ready. That's the most important lesson I think I have learned so far , this year. So here I am, showing up. Starting the blog and te website that I've talked about launching for who knows how long.

Why?

Because I had no more excuses. Because I needed to. I could feel it in my bones, hat if I didn't start speaking out about what it''s lie to be a disabled military spouse, then it was likely no one would. And as a result of my inaction, someone else with a disability or chronic illness might meet a service member, develop feelings, and decide not to pursue the relationship, all because of the stereotype of the wildly stubborn and independent military spouse.

I almost made that mistake. But I didn't.

Again, why?

Because one off my best friends, Rose (who is NOT a military spouse) reminded me of a few things:

1- Pursuing a dating relationship, or getting to know someone is not marriage. See more about this here.

2- The stereotypes about military spouses are just that--- stereotypes. No community of people is comprised of clones. We share some commonalities, first and foremost, that we love a service member. Beyond that, we're different. Some may be fiercely independent. Others may not. But all adapt.

3- Adaptation is my life. I have, like most others disabled or not, had to adapt to new towns, new schools, and new friends. In addition, my disabilities have required that I find creative ways of doing things, like shopping and getting places. Read more about that here.

So, with these things in mind, I embraced the idea of becoming a military girlfriend, and later, a military spouse. And I love it.

It is hard, don't get me wrong, but it is not impossible. Military spouses do need to be independent to a degree, but no one does this life alone. My husband and my friends both near and far, help with whatever I need. I just have to ask.

Sometimes, I don''t even have to ask. They just know.